Why you might need to ignore your
“Family’s Career Advice”
A tad harsh I know, but it is not intended to be
I will give you an example of how this affected me with my own family members further on in the post but for now…
The reason the title states that you should ignore what your family’s advice; is for the following reasons:
- They are not you, you are you and there is only one of you! (Sorry for all the you’s but its all about you at the end of the day) 😛
- They ARE trying to give you their best advice because they want the best of the best for you, but it may not necessarily be the best thing for you.
- They can talk down your dreams without even realizing they are doing it. This can sometimes stick or make you change your mind or even worse make your change your destiny!
- They can tell you, you are MAD, your idea is CRAZY, you are living in LA LA LAND, when you tell them your dreams.
- They will ask you how you are going to make a career from this dream (This can really hurt because you might not of figured that out yet but your gut tells you, you will)
- They will ask you how you to plan to make money from this dream. (Again this can crush you because you start to doubt yourself but at the same time you believe all will work out if you follow your dreams because you can feel it in your bones)
- They will tell you, you need to have a trade or get office experience as it will stand for you for the rest of your life (This is true and again, it is just them wanting the best for you but I will expand on why families say this after these bullet points)
- They will try convince your otherwise
- They will make plenty of other suggestions for a career choice that they think would be better
- They might put pressure on you and come across as if they are really giving you a hard time over it (They do not mean to)
- They might say it so often that you start to believe it
- You will start to think, well my family are just trying to give me good advice so maybe it was a stupid idea
- You will give up and work at a job that will stand for you for the rest of your life but… you will never be happy in your job.
- You will always regret not going for gold, going after your dreams and working at something you love
- You might end up resentful towards certain people who stopped you from pursuing your dream but realistically it was up to you
- You will retire and always wonder what if?
With all that said, it is really important to understand why family members do this. For all of the above here is the answer as to why they do this:
First things first they love you unconditionally, they want the best for you and most of all they want life to be as easy as can be for you. This is why they say all these things and its not to hurt you, tear your dream apart or be un-supportive, its quite the opposite. They do it because they worry about you and they love you.
They are not trying to stop you being happy or going after everything you have ever dreamed of but they are worried if you. Why? They project their own fears onto you and offer that advice because they do not want to see you disappointed.
It is not that they do not believe in you 500% but it is because they cannot see how it could work. They would hate more than anything if you took the risk and ended up broke. In their heads, that would be catastrophic because that is all they know. They cannot teach you what they do not know.
I only realized this after I set up my first business. The strain of feeling like if I gave up my job to give it my all started to get to me. I blamed my whole family for not supporting me. I said “I could of done this years ago if it wasn’t for everyone telling me to work in an office”. This is not true, because it was my choice. When I said this my Mam said “Hazel, that is what I always told”. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks.
When I said to my sister, “It’s really upsetting me that you do not believe I can make this work”. She said “I do believe in you but I just don’t want you to be disappointed if it does not work”. Again, hit me like a ton of bricks. It all started to make sense… They wanted me to succeed, just as I want them to have it all but they were afraid for me. Worried for me. They didn’t want to see me hurt if all did not work out, because they love me.
So, the key thing I learned from this is that it takes time for people to see your vision. They might not get it or even understand it but they will in time. The most important thing is communication. Sit down and have a heart to heart and just tell them not to worry. If it doesn’t work you can start again now that you understand where they are coming from.
I still get laughed at when I say things like I am going to write my own book etc. After a while they say, well go for it.
You can listen but do you own thing at the end of the day. This if you life and it’s up to you! Now go and make your dreams a reality ! Best of luck
Please comment below and tell me if you have/are experiencing this. If you liked this post feel free to share it.
Image credit: timothylutts.com