Why you might need to ignore your
“Family’s Career Advice”
The reason the title states that you should ignore what your family’s advice; is for the following reasons:
- They are not you, you are you and there is only one of you!
- They ARE trying to give you their best advice because they want the best of the best for you. But it may not necessarily be the best thing for you.
- They can talk down your dreams without even realizing they are doing it. This can sometimes stick or make you change your mind or even worse make your change your destiny!
- Your family might think your MAD, that your ideas are CRAZY, you are living in LA LA LAND when you tell them your dreams.
- They will ask you how you are going to make a career from this dream (This can really hurt because you might not have figured that out yet but your gut tells you, you will)
- They will ask you how you to plan to make money from this dream. (Again this can crush you because you start to doubt yourself but at the same time you believe all will work out if you follow your dreams because you can feel it in your bones)
- They will tell you, you need to have a trade or get office experience as it will stand for you for the rest of your life (This is true and again, it is just them wanting the best for you but I will expand on why families say this after these bullet points)
- Most will try to convince you otherwise
- They will make plenty of other suggestions for a career choice that they think would be better
- Some family members might put pressure on you and come across as if they are really giving you a hard time over it (They don’t mean to)
- They might say it so often that you start to believe it
- You will start to think, well my family are just trying to give me good advice so maybe it was a stupid idea
- This is where you give up and work that job that you think is secure but you’ll never be happy in your job.
- You will always regret not going for gold, going after your dreams and working at something you love
- You’ll end up resentful towards them, those who stopped you from pursuing your dream but in reality, it was your choice
- When your retired, you will always wonder, what if?
With all that said, it is really important to understand why family members do this. For all of the above here is the answer as to why they do this:
First things first they love you unconditionally. They want the best for you and most of all they want life to be as easy as can be for you. This is why they say all these things. It’s not to hurt you, tear your dream apart or be un-supportive, its quite the opposite. They do it because they love you. And because they love you, they worry about you. No one is trying to prevent you from being happy. Why? Because they have their own fears and fear that it will break you if it doesn’t work out.
It’s not that they don’t believe in you 500% but it’s because they can’t see how it would work. They are simply protecting you. They would hate to see you take a risk and ended up disappointed or broke. In their heads, this would be catastrophic because that is all they know. They can’t teach you something they weren’t thought.
I only realised this after I set up my 1st business. The strain of giving up my job to give it my all started to get to me. I blamed my whole family for not supporting me. I said, “I could have done this years ago if you’s didn’t tell to work in an office”. This is not true, because it was my choice. When I said this my Mam said: “That’s what I was told to do by my parents.” And then it hit me like a ton of bricks!
When I said to my sister, “It hurts me that you do not believe I can make this work”. She said, “I do believe in you but I just don’t want you to be disappointed if it doesn’t work.” Again, it hit me like a ton of bricks. It all started to make sense… They want me to succeed, just as I want them to have it all but they were worried for me. They didn’t want to see me disappointed if it didn’t work out!
So, the key thing I learned from this is that it takes time for people to see your vision. They might not get it or even understand it but they will in time. The most important thing is communication. Sit down and have a heart to heart and just tell them not to worry. If it doesn’t work you can start again now that you understand where they are coming from. I still get laughed at when I say things like I am going to do this or that because there are so many things I want to do. But after a while they say, well go for it.
Listen to your family, take their comments on board but do your own thing. You don’t want to be on your deathbed and wish you had. It’s your life and your dreams on the line, so do what makes you happy.
Image credit: timothylutts.com